I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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