im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize