Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
