thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
