Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
