I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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