Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Houston, we have a blender
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize