I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
