Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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