These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
