I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
