obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
