dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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