was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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