clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
