What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We're too hungover to prance.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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