dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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