woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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