She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
