No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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