Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
