awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
