Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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