Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
