guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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