last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
