her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
