Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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