I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
