Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you had me at cake vodka
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
