I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
