just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
