eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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