That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
