Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
