I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
