some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
