Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
