the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
