dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize