my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize