We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
