I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize