; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
