Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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