if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
