Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
