There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if only i could text you this smell
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I want her autograph on my taint
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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