my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
