Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
