He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
