Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
