Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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