I can tuck mytits in my pants
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
