with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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