the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
