We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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